Journaling

I honestly can't tell if journaling is trending or if the algorithm is just feeding me journaling content. My journaling practice came from a few different places. I had a notebook I occasionally used to write out my anxious thoughts, I completed the Inktober challenge for the first time in 2019, and finally I started reading The Artist's Way and latched on to the Morning Pages concept. I put down the book after the first few chapters. I couldn't absorb the creativity spirituality link so prominent in the book as I was deconstructing from my religious upbringing. But, morning pages made sense.

In my creative practice, I kept hitting a wall. When I was a kid, art and drawing helped me escape and process my thoughts. In adulthood, a moment to draw would appear in my day, I’d have my net ready to catch creative ideas. It would repeatedly fill up with all the rogue thoughts and anxiety swirling in my head. Morning Pages seemed like a logical way to get past this cycle so I did it very consistently.

Then a funny thing happened, which Julia Cameron would probably call a synchronicity or something like that. I found a fountain pen on the ground while I was walking around the seaport in Boston. I later cleaned it up and got ink cartridges. It took some trial and error to really get it to write. Once I did, my writing took off. Ergonomics-wise, I felt the difference immediately. I could write more pages without my hand getting tired. I let myself work through a lot of thoughts that were holding me back. Eventually, I started to have fun. I’d doodle in the margins. I’d admire how the ink dried on the page. I was falling for an ink property called shading before I knew what it was.

I don’t want to mislead anyone, some days I had to skip writing three pages in the morning. I’d fit it in later or I’d just write less. The biggest thing I noticed was, I’d be more conscious of my thought processes and catch things that I felt needed to be questioned and explored before it changed my mood and motivation. I had a place to put the creativity pitfalls and it was enjoyable and rewarding.

I don’t do morning pages anymore, but I still journal frequently. Instead of wrestling with my thoughts, I’ve been making an effort to push my creativity. I’m prioritizing sketching in the morning. If I want to write, I usually do it before bed, and whenever I feel compelled to do it.

I’ll have to save going into the specifics of my journal ecosystem for a different post. It’s also very much in flux at the moment between a bunch of ideas for all the fun stationery I’ve acquired. Because I‘ve written consistently for months, I’m not as hesitant to experiment. I have multiple filled journals as proof against any doubts that I’m capable of this kind of commitment.